Love: Harder Than It Looks

I need a vacation. Funny, because right now I'm in New York City (have I mentioned yet that I'm not a fan of NYC?) on a trip with Amber (and some *cough cough* family).

I don't have a lot of thoughts for you today... I just wanted to get some feelings out there. I was pretty emotionally beat up this afternoon at the thought of slowing way down in our new triad relationship (see Amber's post before mine). That's probably amplified because of the stress of this trip, though (Only 7 more days! HUZZAH!).

Going in to a three-way relationship seemed fairly straight forward. Man, managing the emotions and feelings of 3 people is way harder than it looks/sounds. On the one hand, you love both other partners and don't want to see them hurt or upset. On the other hand, you've got to look out for yourself and tell BOTH partners how you're feeling. We've been using Facebook group chat to all talk to each other at once to communicate. It's working fairly well right now... but nothing beats a face to face conversation. You can't see tears or hear emotion in text. And you can't cuddles on Skype. Saaaadddd!

None of us have any experience with a triad - it's the blind leading the blind. Not that that's a terrible thing, but maybe it'd be easier with a little guidance. I mean, married couples go to counseling to get an outside perspective of their relationship and help them work through issues (Not that we have issues like that this early in the relationship - hang on you'll see what I'm getting at lol). I wonder if a poly meet-up group would be a good thing to go to. At first glance I was really against the idea aka "Hey, this is my relationship, I'll do it how I want!", but looking at the situation now... well it might be cool to go to a meetup with people who have managed these kinds of relationships and get some feedback on what works for them, what to try, what to avoid, etc. Plus, it would be nice to have friends who understand about being poly that I could talk to.

On that note - I wish I could shout from the rooftops that I'm poly! I want everyone to know that I have a wife and a girlfriend. Not to brag or rub it in anyones face, but to say "Hey, this is my life and this is acceptable. This makes me happy and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself!" Well, maybe not exactly like that. I'm an ass, but I'm not an ass to my friends :P

So far, I've told exactly 1 person - one of my brothers. He knew about the "fuck buddies" in the past and if anyone was going to be understanding, it'd be him. K has told both of her parents, friends, some co-workers (I think?), etc. Jeez, this girl has more balls than I do...

Anyway, I know I have lots to think about moving forward. At the end of the day, I know I want K to be happy. After all, that's what love is, right? Love is harder than it looks, dear reader.

One final thought. I notice that there has been a lot (well not a TON, but some) traffic coming across this blog. Is there anyone out there who has had experience with being in a triad/poly relationship in the past? Or does anyone have any advice on finding local poly groups?

That's all for tonight.

-Brad