When it's over, that's the time I fall in love again.....

Yes, music quotes as the title. You like it, don't lie.

I'm starting with a joke because I'm lost. So lost. For all purposes, our relationship with K is officially over. I wish I could say that there was hope for our future together but I'm afraid I have none. Spending the day with her reminded me of how easy the first few days were, how fun, relaxing and easy. The day with her was not easy. Some of it felt forced, some it felt stressful, and some of it made me really unhappy. I'm being honest here, and it sucks. She's resolved to work on her life, her work and her school. I can't begrudge her working on that. I can't, it would be messed up. However my feelings were a little wounded. Add that to what I wrote about on the other blog and to me Friday just kind of sucked. Maybe that's not fair....It's probably not. I was sleep deprived and hormonal (I'm going to blame my pregnancy).

So I guess although she says she hopes it blossoms into something more than friendship, I'm not hopeful anymore. I think her life is going in a direction that poly doesn't fit into nor do we fit into. Again, maybe I'm not being fair. However am I supposed to wait around and hope for that? I'm fine being just friends but I think it might be time to look else where for what we want.


So that's the end of this chapter for me,

Amber